fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The adults are the big ones right?
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