I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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