i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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