I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
My cat gives me a boner
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
