Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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