Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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