Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I came so hard my ears popped.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
