never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
