did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
