Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She bit a glass in half.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
