Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
