i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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