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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  youre going to kill that woman one of these days

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."

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• (352): View more from Florida

  She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (770): View more from Georgia

  ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.

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• (916): View more from California

  you want your laptop back?

  (1-916): View more from California

  are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?

  (916): View more from California

  both.

  (1-916): View more from California

  come over.

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• (940): View more from Texas

  you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.

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• (819): View more from Quebec

  I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.

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