Texts From Last Night

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  (607): View more from New York

  I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on

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  (607): I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on http://tfl.nu/pu4k
  Replies (2) Good night (2010) Bad night (742)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.

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  (985): If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable. http://tfl.nu/fbq8
  Replies (12) Good night (5449) Bad night (585)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.

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  (313): theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen. http://tfl.nu/by0t
  Replies (16) Good night (1639) Bad night (3320)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  running late. just ran over a dude on a bike

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  (813): running late. just ran over a dude on a bike http://tfl.nu/e4pf
  Replies (52) Good night (2109) Bad night (8080)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.

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  (636): Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often. http://tfl.nu/ixlv
  Replies (15) Good night (4538) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest

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  (609): I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest http://tfl.nu/t023
  Replies (21) Good night (1271) Bad night (5368)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.

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  (979): She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today. http://tfl.nu/i2c6
  Replies (8) Good night (806) Bad night (5222)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  how did i know this would happen?

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  (412): I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN (1-412): how did i know this would happen? http://tfl.nu/2nli
  Replies (8) Good night (1903) Bad night (1212)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.

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  (248): If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is. http://tfl.nu/p0ib
  Replies (15) Good night (2639) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  We are hot boxing the gondola

  (607): View more from New York

  I hate everything.

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  (207): We are hot boxing the gondola (607): I hate everything. http://tfl.nu/4t9d
  Replies (9) Good night (1417) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it

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  (630): I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it http://tfl.nu/s57c
  Replies (5) Good night (532) Bad night (1582)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.

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  (804): We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt. http://tfl.nu/2b1c
  Replies (7) Good night (699) Bad night (1842)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin

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  (717): In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin http://tfl.nu/u60j
  Replies (5) Good night (733) Bad night (255)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'

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  (256): It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!' http://tfl.nu/6btj
  Replies (6) Good night (1262) Bad night (269)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.

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  (617): Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though. http://tfl.nu/qelj
  Replies (4) Good night (351) Bad night (760)

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