a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
about cumming, not toast