it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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