That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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