Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.

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  (804): my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it. http://tfl.nu/l9cy
  Replies (18) Good night (4802) Bad night (736)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?

  (440): View more from Ohio

  What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose

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  (330): When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday? (440): What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose http://tfl.nu/ry2v
  Replies (24) Good night (1257) Bad night (2665)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary

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  (214): I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you. (1-214): that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary http://tfl.nu/469f
  Replies (36) Good night (7969) Bad night (1023)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.

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  (609): We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada. http://tfl.nu/0b9c
  Replies (22) Good night (6276) Bad night (2161)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm

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  (347): A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm http://tfl.nu/q9qn
  Replies (13) Good night (3304) Bad night (1275)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.

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  (570): martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions. http://tfl.nu/krux
  Replies (13) Good night (3254) Bad night (865)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.

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  (740): I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore. http://tfl.nu/qwh6
  Replies (9) Good night (966) Bad night (2529)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties

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  (563): Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties http://tfl.nu/ywu8
  Replies (16) Good night (5387) Bad night (1086)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.

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  (940): He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts. http://tfl.nu/9w8s
  Replies (12) Good night (3089) Bad night (701)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?

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  (919): My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect? http://tfl.nu/6qrg
  Replies (5) Good night (1278) Bad night (550)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help

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  (780): Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help http://tfl.nu/jtky
  Replies (4) Good night (635) Bad night (1135)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.

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  (775): Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers. http://tfl.nu/u3nj
  Replies (3) Good night (664) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.

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  (847): My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital. http://tfl.nu/g98t
  Replies (3) Good night (1307) Bad night (467)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.

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  (202): 90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here. http://tfl.nu/6qce
  Replies (1) Good night (309) Bad night (591)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.

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  (406): I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved. http://tfl.nu/bdb2
  Replies (2) Good night (764) Bad night (354)

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