Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS