im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
