never play flip cup with pint glasses
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
