Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
And then he peed in my hair
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