I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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