I wanna passion pit in your ass
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
