we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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