It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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