I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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