Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i drank out of a bidet.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
