Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
