So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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