butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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