oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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