Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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