he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.