Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize