just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
