I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
