naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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