I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
