I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Randomize
