thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
