Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Randomize
