nut hugger
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
