as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
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Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
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The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize