Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
