Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
