Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
