Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
