I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Watching her eat just hurts me
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
