We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
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you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
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Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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