its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
