Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize