By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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