He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
