i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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