Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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