Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
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Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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