just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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