Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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