im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
