I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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