I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
