He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
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I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
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I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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